Well, eating went ok this week for me. Rich stil can't grasp what eating healthy means. He is trying to eat more salads and drink more 100% juice drinks and water so that is a step in the right direction. I have done ok, not great, but ok. I am having a hard time making myself eat breakfast in the mornings. I don't feel as though I am giving myself enough fuel to last through the day. I feel tired all the time and I know it's because I am not eating right. I am eating less, like Saturday I fixed empanadas (my husbands favorite) and normally I would eat 5 or 6 with chips, cheese dip, salsa, the works. Not this time. this time I had two with lost of Salsa very little cheese dip and maybe 5 or 6 chips, so I am seeing an improvement in myself. I think I found a few new things that I enjoy, 1. Playing Basketball, I was winded and worn-out but I really had a blast and I think my kids had as much fun with me as I had with them. My 7 year old son Payton was a little sceptical when I said I was going to play with them, he said, "How can you run and dribble the ball at the same time?" and I told him that I could do it just like him and then he said, " I will let you walk then dribble, then walk then dribble.," and even though I know he was trying to be sweet and go easy on me it still hurt a little. I would never tell him that though because he is my sweetie pie. I did however show him that MAMA'S GOT GAME, lol. I think everyone was a little shocked, heck I was ashocked that I could go a long as I did. The second thing that I have learned to love is fruit, all kinds mostly naval oranges. But am bringing them to work for snack to try and curb my hunger a little. Well all I can do is say I'll try to do better this week.  

Well, week one went by quickly. Rich and I lost a little weight, so thats good. I was surprised that I lost 5 lbs. yeah!!! I didn't exercise like I said I would, but I did do lots better with my food choices. I bought a turkey breast and turkey burgers and lots of fresh fruits and veggies for the house, my kids all said, "What did you buy us to eat," hahaha...they were a little shocked that I didn't stock pile them with chips, snacks, and frozen goodies they love so much. I did buy tons of cereal though...it's everyones favorite food. I figured that we all needed to make some changes to help Rich and I on this journey, because if the food is in the house one of us will eat it. I did buy some snack foods though. They are these 100 calorie snack cakes and oatmeal cookies and they are pretty good, better than expected. I also bought fat free cheeses, wheat breads instead of white, and baked chips instead of fried. Rich lost two pounds this week, he still struggles with eating out all the time.  We are having a little contest of our own to see which one of us loses the most weight each week, just to help motivate us a little more because neither of us are exercising like we should. Rich is making progress with his food choices though, he is drinking more water and eating more salads, which even with the normal dressing has to be healthier for you than nachos or tacos with a pound of cheese on them. I am trying to eat smaller meals and more often. I have a bad habit of waking up and not eating anything for a couple of hours, then i'll snack a couple of hours before lunch then pig out at lunch because i'm starving at that point. Then supper i'm usually still full from lunch and eat because everyone else is and then an hour or so after supper I start snacking because Rich starts snacking and when I see him eating sweets or cereal it makes me crave them. He is doing better about late snacking but it's not gone by any means. I pledge to workout at least 3 times this week, with or without Rich. I am going to try to get Rich to stop eating out so much. I think it is just easier in his eyes for us to go grab a bite to eat, but i think it's worse for us because we don't make great choices when we go out and the portions, oh my god, they give you enough for a few meals, but if it's put in my face I just eat and eat until i'm ready to pop. I just want to do this once and for all. I am ready for this chapter of my life to be closed and be able to look good and feel great. I have been hiding under this fat for so long that it has taken me over and I WANNA B FREE, free of these horrible layers that I have slowly put on my body for so many years. I have come to realize that all of the emotion connected with the weight is something that I have been dealing with most of my life and will be dealing with for the rest of my life and i'm ready...bring it on I say. I just need some help getting through this I need some emotional support for those times that I just want to give up and let things go back to the way they have been for my entire adult life. I need Jillian pushing me and drilling it in to my head that I CAN DO IT and I will do it. I need Bob telling me that I AM WORTH IT and I need for my family to understand that this is no joke, it's not about the contest, it's not about money, it's not even about them, it's about me and the fact that I am miserable like this, I am tired of being FAT. I just want people to see me and not the fat Renee that would be so pretty if she lost weight but ME. The me who looks like the mother I lost way to soon in my life, the me that loves sports but has no energy to go play, the me that people used to say could be a model, the me that is tired of wearing clothes big enough for two. I am ready for a change and I want it so bad...now I just have to find out how to make it happen without giving up....again.

We did our starting weigh-in today...I can't believe how much we weigh. I was upset but at least we are doing something about it. Today was a pretty good day for me food wise.  Even though we I ate breakfast at lunch time cause we slapt late. I ate 1/2 a banana and half of an egg substitute, and ham sandwhich on sour dough bread with NO mayo...I had OJ and water and felt satisfied after I ate. I was very proud of myself. As for Rich he doesn't really know what is healthy and what is not and even though i was trying to tell him what not to order he just got frustrated and ordered cheesebuger and fries, but he did drink unsweet tea w/splenda. I guess you got to start somewhere, huh. He only ate about half of what he had on his plate so I was glad he tried to portion out his meal somewhat. As for dinner Rich ate his left over Japanese, not so good for ya, and I ate a sandwhich with light miracle whip, fat free cheese, and turkey on whole wheat bread and I had a spring mix salad lightly sprayed with italian spritzer and a few whole wheat club crackers. We didn't get any activities in today except walking around grocery shopping if that counts, hehe. Hopefully we will fit some in tomorrow.